up till today you're still the first one that i want to share my joy with.
it just doesn't feel good or any happier when i share with anybody.
i miss the feeling of being joyful, it was lost long ago.
even till the latest period before we parted, i never feel that anymore.
but only heartaches again and again.

it's foolish that i still want to share my joy with you, that is never going to happen again.
bye foolish thoughts.
hugs and kisses || 11:58 PM

though i was the one that made the choice, but it just doesn't feel good. 
hugs and kisses || 3:54 PM

Why am i so silly to trust all those kind words. It's never true and never will be. Love never fails ? Well it's bullshit to me.. you once said that their no honeymoon period because our last forever? and i guess it should be replaced as last till you're sick of me.. it was once so beautiful yet now all i see is darkness.. everything just came crashing down no matter how hard i try to save.. it's never going to work if you don't put in effort.. even if you say you do, but sorry i don't see much changes. i miss my good old boyfriend who once loved me so much and make me feel that everything will be fine even at my worse. but now i'm all alone, facing all those shitty stuff. What to do? suck it up, that's usually what i hear..
hugs and kisses || 7:58 PM

I'm really thankful that 2013 is the past, because it hasn't been really nice to me. In fact it's quite nasty and there's lots of bullshit and unhappiness i have to handle. 
Honestly, I pretty happy that 2014 has arrived. Because it is a, 
1. Brand new year
2. Graduation year 
3. Stepping into the working society (not welcoming it actually)
Yes it sounds like a happy year for me ! 
Though I didn't step into 2014 happily, but I hope for the best with the effort i put in.
Life may be tough but nothing gonna beat me down!
Things may be rocky and future about us are blurry, but like i said, i'm not gonna give up and i'm sure we will be able to pull through as long as you don't give up as well.
As much as i'm so torn, I try to be good.
Like the saying goes, when life give you lemon, made lemonade. 
Yup so i'm still gonna stand strong and fight against all odds !
hugs and kisses || 11:29 PM

It's so hard to be happy..I thought my life was better. Though I get a little more freedom, but everything at home seems to be worse than ever. Secretly wish that the empty room can't be rent out so i don't have to share my house w others. But unlucky me, but wish didn't cam true but even worse. He going to rent it out to 3 man ! Honestly I think i'm great danger, okay maybe not that scary but i'm super unwilling. Whatever I say is no longer important, or maybe it's never once important to them. Sis only say that it would be better if he rent out so he wont be asking us for money. It's easy for her to say because she's not staying in that freaking house. I don't want to stay in this kind of place..
hugs and kisses || 10:09 AM

It was a long long time when i last blogged. I got so lazy to even on my laptop. 
hugs and kisses || 8:29 PM

I guess it's every girls dream to life like a princess, so everyday and night im dreaming that it will happen. Being treated like you're always right, people around you are always nice and of course not forgetting about all the pretty things on earth! Buying without thinking, shop like there's no tomorrow.. okays, maybe it sounds more like a shopaholic but i think being treat like a princess has more privilege right ? Being dote on, having all the *positive* attention. Not having any worries, but just plainly receiving all the blessing. How great is that! 

At the end of the day i truly know that it's just a dream.  
hugs and kisses || 9:59 PM